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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered several hardships, which I admire. But, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances vanished at that point, since they had been focused solely on him. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised more acutely the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, several in her circle have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. Her last employer turned on her, even though she was an excellent employee, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, both of us stepped back from work leading to more each other more, but I am finding the part I play between us is as the audience. I open discussion points and she changes conversation onto things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. My effort is to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She's been organizing a trip to a country I've visited repeatedly even called home previously. I attempted to share personal experiences, but this was unappreciated. She essentially just desired me to confirm her decisions. I have come back from a month in that place she is eager to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the effect of her behaviour on my confidence. Currently, I find myself in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the easy answer we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of working things out demands strength and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing the usual pattern during your discussions. This needs to be as factual as possible and basically what a recording device would replay. Next is to express the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no argument here. What you feel are your feelings, naturally. Finally involves requesting ways you together will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Remember that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is to say your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's wildly successful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore all you say, for those who have a “survival narrative”: they have a narrative regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon as it feels essential relies on it and it's all they trust. It's tough when there seems no easy route here, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react like this before reflecting about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found a fix, it provides peace that you've been honest with her.